Nerd Quotes
There are two types of people:
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You use Windows because you have to.
You use Mac OS because you chose to.
You use Linux because you can.
CAPS LOCK
Preventing login since 1980
Frage: Wie viele Programmierer bracht man, um eine Glühbirne zu wechseln?
Antwort: Keinen, das ist ein Hardware-Problem.
Don't trust atoms!
Thay make up everything!
father@kids# echo "Clean your room!"
Piss off! I don't want to!
father@kids# sudo -s
root@kids# echo "Clean your room!"
OK! OK! Almost done.god@world# sudo -s
Enter password: _"When I remember that password, I'll clean up that mess!"
sudo or sudo not?
There's no
sutry!
The most vulgar character of all time: 
They beeped out every single word!
# work
System crashed
# sudo apt-get install coffee
Loading...
# work
Working...Talk is cheap, show me the code!
(Linus Torwalds)
A barman says, "We don't serve time travelers in here!" A time traveler walks into a bar.
Programmer's joke:!false
It's funny because it's true
pro'gram'mer
n. an organism that turns coffe into software
Floppy: I am your father!
Cloud: Noooooooooo!
Those who think there are no stupid questions have never worked in tech support
If your code runs fine at the first try - search for the error!
sudo rm -rf /Don't drink and root!
Zur Bandbreiten-Optimierung werden jetzt auch die Vögel auf digitale Kommunikation umgestellt.
Assassine: "FRISS MEINEN BACKSTA..."
Groupleader: "Spuck ihn wieder aus, Tyrr!"
Halbriese: "Aber er hat doch gesagt: 'Friss'."
Jede Entscheidung ist der Tod von Milliarden von Möglichkeiten.
(Nico Semsrott)
Wenn Sie nicht alles glauben, was Ihr Kind sagt, im Kindergarten passiert ist, dann glauben wir nicht alles, was Ihr Kind sagt, zuhause passiert ist.
Think like a PROTON - stay positive
When the opposite of having to do something is not being allowed to do so.
FishMac, Schweineschnitzel, Rindergulasch - alles Hähnchen - außer Chickennuggets, das ist Tofu.
(Mark-Uwe Kling)
In case of fire
- git commit
- git push
- LEAVE BUILDING!
Bei manchen ist der Kopf eine Sicherungskopie des Hinterns.
I'm a mechanical engeneer - to save time let's just assume that I'm never wrong.
#bermuda-triangle { display: none; }
#titanic { float: none; }
.rap-artist { word-spacing: 0; }
.ninja {
color: black;
visibility: hidden;
animation-duration: 1/100000s
}
#tower-of-pisa { font-style: italic; }
.lego { display: block; }
#chuck_norris { color: #BADA55; }
.wife {
right: 100%;
margin: 0;
}Gib Gates keine Change.
</life>Kaffee = Schlafersatz
Partnerwechsel = Channelswitch
As there's no such thing as an even person, you must be odd.
You have to be odd to be number one.
x % 2 = 1
That's odd!
Women don't get past 20-something, because they only have two X's - that explains why boys only get 10 and then just grow as they only have one X and broke the other.
Verschränkte Teilchen: Wie finden wir die Meltdown-Schwachstelle der Matrix...
Optimist: The glass is half full
Passimist: The glass is half empty
Programmer: The glass is twice as large as nessessary
The only programming joke I know is MY CODE!
2B || !2B
that is the question
void Roadrunner() {
while (!edge) {
run();
}
}
void Cojotee() {
do {
run();
} while (!edge);
}Why programmers always mix up Xmas and Halloween?
Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC.
Russian Roulett for programmers:
bash# [ $[ $RANDOM % 6 ] == 0 ] && rm -rf / || echo "click"There's a band named 1023MB - they didn't have a gig yet.
Reflecting on maths: 314 | PIE
My password ist the last 16 digits of PI.
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Die Formel für Positivität: f(x) = |x|
Once you eliminate the impossible,
whatever remains,
no matter how improbable,
must be the truth.
(Arthur Conan Doyle)
Once you eliminate the impossible
and nothing remains,
whatever,
no matter how improbable,
must be the truth you did not think of.
(After Conan Doyle)
Area 0x33